He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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