You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
