My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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