I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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