At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
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