doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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