there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
