Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize