Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
dude. I can hear the air.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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