I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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