did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk, ducks in the car
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize