Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
