I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
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you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
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Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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