Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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