Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We're too hungover to prance.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
