I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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