She said her name was "party"
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
