Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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