Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
