Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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