I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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