You don't have asthma, your pregnant
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize