is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
