Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
