She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
