dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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