lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
