3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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