Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
