i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
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