Your face is a jimmy john
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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