Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
