I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Can vaginas get frostbite?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
