Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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