There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
