Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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