There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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