his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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