You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
