i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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