We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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