Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
