So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
