I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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