Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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