I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
