Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm sobbing to NWA
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
