This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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