it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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