I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
