I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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