Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
