I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
