I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
