im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
