If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
smell my finger.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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