Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
