i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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