do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
