How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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