I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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