Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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